Abuse, the definition is not the one in the dictionary, it is personal, personal to the victim. People will say in today's vernacular that "this will not define me." This are words, just words. Also, many of the public speakers say, "we are not victims, we are survivors'. Not true, to acknowledge the abuse is to begin to heal. I have spoken recently to a man who believes in every word of 1) you are not a victim, 2) you don't need to be defined by this abuse, 3) You can just put it behind you. This is fine for him since he never was bused. Also, his speaker that he went to see never has either. Not much experience here and very little knowledge of how it feels to be abused. Every victim, yes victim because YOU did not cause the abuse, the start to heal is to accept the very difficult task of realizing that! The next step is find ways to heal. I have personal experience of abuse and have taken advice from a psychiatrist to tell my story. Yes, as you know, since you are here, that every story is different. One of the most difficult conversations you can have will be "yes, I understand." See, they don't! Because you are unique and your experience is unique. You are an individual and hopefully you will log on and we can heal together. It is a life long process.
We can work together. Some of the questions are difficult. Answer only what you feel comfortable with.
1) name, just a first name even if that is not your real name. choose one we can use to communicate together.
2) Your age if it is pertinent to your situation. Such as length and time of your abuse.
3) Was it physical, mental or both?
4) Is the abuse currently ongoing?
4) How have you been dealing with the memories if in the past?
Describe how you feel and what you feel can help you.
Anything else you may want to describe or discusss. This is afterall for you.
Carole
